Though we probably won’t see Katherine Heigl take over the movie role from Chris Hemsworth anytime soon, it appears that Marvel Comics is ready to take readers where they’ve always wanted to go by turning Thor into a woman. Strong female characters aren’t unusual in the Marvel pantheon, but apparently Black Widow, Storm, and Elektra aren’t enough anymore. We now get to see our favorite male superheroes switched out for their female equivalents. It would be tempting to say that we will also see the financial decline of the studio, but that’s an industry that bottomed out years ago.
Elsewhere in the comic book world, it appears that we now know how Archie dies. Not from drinking too many of those frappes down at Pop’s Chocklit Shoppe, but by taking a bullet for his gay friend, Kevin Keller. His gay, gun-control ideologue, liberal Senator friend. I mean, did they even feel any shame when they wrote this issue? It’s a little blatant, don’t you think? I can only imagine the meeting where they came up with this scheme.
What can we do to turn Archie readers into frothing liberals?
Oh, I don’t know. Shouldn’t we just concentrate on making the strip funny? This…this doesn’t seem like it should be the mission statement of the series.
We’ve heard enough from you, Brannon! The rest of you, think up some ideas.
Um, sir, could we have Jughead decide to get a sex change?
C’mon, Lindham, that’s too outrageous. Besides, we already introduced the gay character. Something else, hurry up.
Could we…could we have Archie die? Some crazy Republican – I know, I know, that’s redundant – could take a shot at Gay Senator Keller, and Archie could jump in front of the bullet. We could get across several messages at once!
That’s even more ridiculous than Lindham’s idea, but you know what, we’re up against a deadline. Draw it up.
It’s at times like these – times when it seems like the left is doing everything but flashing a giant neon sign in the face of every traditionally-minded American (a sign with no words, but rather a big middle finger) – that I feel grateful for a documentary like America: Imagine the World Without Her. Dinesh D’Souza has produced a right-leaning documentary of immense style and grace, and he has done so without evoking the half-truths and slimy propaganda techniques of a Michael Moore. At the same time, D’Souza is perfectly up front about his point of view, and he goes to great lengths in the documentary to support his argument with history and facts.
In a world where liberals ruin everything from cartoons to movies to music, it’s almost unbelievable that a strong conservative statement like America could make a dent at the box office. While the box office for documentaries is down in general, it looks like D’Souza’s celebration of the United States could become the highest-grossing doc of the year. In the face of all of this liberal brainwashing, that’s a feat in itself.