Superman the Liberal: Hero Gets Sad Makeover

Up in the sky…it’s a bird…it’s a plane…it’s a…

…it’s a pathetic liberal fantasy?

Hold on to your hats, because one of America’s most enduring superheroes is getting a makeover. In a new issue of Action Comics, the Man of Steel evolves out of his red and blue tights and into the socio-political climate. Dressed in ragged clothes and stripped of most of his powers, the “new and improved” Superman kicks things off by proving his allegiance to the biggest liberal myth of them all: the legend of the brutal police officer.

Clark Kent returns to Metropolis, no longer bothering to hide his secret identity. A group of Superman supporters whips up a welcome-home party for the hero, but the police soon arrive to put a damper on everyone’s excitement. When one of the cops gets a bit too rowdy with the gathered crowd, though, a riot breaks out. The comic comes to its exciting conclusion as Superman decks a police officer, which apparently qualified as a happy ending in 2015.

The new story is drawing the expected controversy. Patrick Colligan, the president of the NJ State Policemen’s Benevolent Association, said he was disgusted by the tale. “They want to sell comics,” he said to a local Fox affiliate. “Unfortunately, it’s at the expense of some very great cops out there every day protecting the public.”

That’s of no concern to those who champion this bogus movement. One wonders how many of these liberal liars would change their tune if America’s cops went on strike. A total strike for just one day. What would happen to this country if police simply refused to do their jobs for one 24-hour period? What would happen if they only went on strike for an hour? Maybe more protestors should think about that scenario the next time they attack the boys in blue.

“There’s some fans that are alienated, a portion of the older fans,” said one NYC comic store owner. “But younger fans seem to be embracing it.”

Younger fans? Like children? Well of course they’re embracing it, they don’t know any better. That’s all part of the plan, you see. An entire generation of Americans are going to grow up being taught that cops are the enemy. That surely won’t have any detrimental effect on the country.

Superman, unfortunately, has grown too anachronistic for today’s culture. There’s no such thing as right and wrong anymore. No morality except the one you make up for yourself. Laws are bad. Criminals are misunderstood. Truth? Justice? The American way? No, those concepts are too cheesy for our sophisticated culture. Kids now must be taught that they live in an oppressive society.

Superman doesn’t have to be a Republican, but he should at least be a force for good. If he’s nothing more than another propaganda tool for the left, he would have been better off staying dead in the 90s.