Yale Professor Says “Master” Title is Racist

We’ve all heard tales of the so-called “secret societies” found on this nation’s oldest Ivy League campuses. The Skull & Bones fraternity is the most notable of these societies, turning out future U.S. presidents and even inspiring a Hollywood film. As we hear more and more of these stories of rampant political correctness in the American university system, though, one can’t help but wonder if there’s another secret society that hasn’t yet been revealed to the public. A society where they give out awards every week based on which liberal professor/staff can find and condemn the most ridiculous example of social injustice.

This week’s winner has to be Professor Stephen Davis of Yale University. Davis announced this week that he would no longer use the title of “Master Davis” because it is racist.

“I have found the title of the office I hold deeply problematic given the racial and gendered weight it carries,” Davis wrote in an email to Yale students this week. “I think there should be no context in our society or in our university in which an African-American student, professor, or staff member – or any person, for that matter – should be asked to call anyone “master.” And there should be no context where male-gendered titles should be normalized as markers of authority.”

Pull up your pants legs, because it’s getting deep in here.

At the award ceremony, they must give out extra points if the nominee can work the word “problematic” into their screed. The left has fallen deeply in love with this word for some reason. No real surprise. It’s a weak, shifty kind of word, perfect for intellectuals who hesitate to take a firm stand on anything. But we digress.

At issue is a Yale tradition in which the various heads of the various colleges are called “master” by title. This has no link to slavery – not even Davis is foolish enough to pretend that it does. It’s a title that has a long history in the British educational system, a system Yale was eager to emulate when opening the school. But hey, you’re not going to win the Social Justice Warrior of the Week award by making sense.

“I have heard stories and witnessed situations involving members of our community who have felt viscerally marginalized by this linguistic practice: students who have felt it necessary to move off campus their junior or senior year to avoid a system where the title “master” is valorized,” lied Davis.

No, but seriously, is anyone buying this? This is a claim so idiotic that it’s more comforting to believe that he is making it up. The thought that someone was so emotionally distraught by this title that they had to move off-campus…no, that’s too depressing to consider. He has to be lying. Please, God, he has to be lying. Unless there are Yale students who actually served as slaves, but that’s probably not the case.

So far, none of the other “masters” of Yale have taken up Davis’s challenge to change their titles, but it’s probably only a matter of time. Once he gets his award and all the other liberals fawn over his heightened sensitivity to racial harmony, they’ll fall right in line. They eat this stuff up. They go to bed with a smile, satisfied with their enlightened social consciousness. This is what it’s like to live without shame.

What can we do but laugh?